Since the Garage explosion in the early noughties, Cyprus has become synonymous with partying in tacky clubs while drinking florescent alcohol from a fishbowl. Dismiss Cyprus on these grounds at your peril, you’ll be missing out on the jewel of the Med.
Okay, I confess. I’m of Cypriot heritage. And thanks to Brexit, I’ve used this to get Cypriot citizenship. So I’m biased. However, it’s not unfounded. I’ll prove to you that Cyprus is more than squaddies, parties and STIs.
East
The east of the island is home its busiest airport, Larnaca. People flocking to the aquamarine coastlines around the region of Ammohostos and yes, the resorts of Ayia Napa, Paralimni and Protaras. If you’re a resort lover (I’m not), Paralimni is the quieter, more grown-up of the three. Protaras has merged with Ayia Napa to be one long thoroughfare of theme bars, supermarkets and English breakfast cafes.
If that’s not your scene – it’s not mine either – I’d still strongly recommend a visit. The reason Ayia Napa went from a sleepy backwater to the destination it is now are the beaches. From Fig Tree Bay to Cape Greko, it’s stunning crystal clear waters and sandy beaches are a thavma (miracle) of a plot of the Caribbean in the Med. In terms of food, I would definitely go off the beaten track and head to a local, family-run taverna, where you’ll get good quality food and generous portions, just like mama likes it.
There are also beautiful enclaves in these former fishing villages. In the centre of Ayia Napa is its namesake church. Ayia in Greek means female saint. She’s was canonised after helping women conceive (why it’s always a female problem, I’ll never know). The Byzantine church was built in 1191 around a holy spring. This bit of ancient history in the centre of modernity offers an opportunity to hear the mystical chants of an Orthodox liturgy in the crypt where you can also make wishes and wash in the spring.
The second part to what makes the east side of island magical and breathtaking is the illegally occupied north. Ammohostos is cut by the island’s Green Line (UN buffer zone separating the Greek south from the Turkish occupied north). The once-bustling city and playground for the 70s glitterati is now a ghost town. The miles of golden shoreline is heavily patrolled by Turkish soldiers. And you can’t enter the now time capsule city.
NORTHERN CYPRUS IS ILLEGALLY OCCUPIED – TOURISM SUPPORTS TERRORISM
You can see the beach and city from viewpoints across the border. Do that instead.
South
Limassol used to be a typical port city. Not very pretty due to its transient population. However, in recent years, Limassol has become a foodies paradise. I’m surprised it took this long due to being surrounded by mountainous vineyards, traditional villages and the yearly wine festival.
Limassol is also home to some of the island’s most beautiful and fascinating archaeological sites. From the oldest settlement in Chirokitia to magnificent Roman amphitheatre Kourion. Come for the history, stay for the wine.
West
Paphos is where Cyprus’ second international airport is and it another popular holiday spot. While many hug the coastline around Kato Paphos, you’ll be a fool – a fool, I tell you – to not venture out. Head north to the National Park at Akamas. Beaches, mountains and wildlife will leave you appreciative of the world we’re destroying. Head to the more exclusive villages of Latchi and Polis for sophisticated evenings in a psaro-taverna (fish restaurant).
I would say Paphos’ places of interest are more churches and monasteries. However historic these maybe, if you find the smell of incense is getting a bit much there’s always the Tombs of the Kings and Aphrodite’s Baths. I would avoid her rock though, it’s just marketing, but there’s nothing else there. Even the beach is a bit meh in comparison.
A trip to the west side isn’t complete without going to Castle Taverna. The “menu” consists of three things; chicken, pork or chicken and pork served with a range of sides you have no choice in picking. The views are out of this world and food is so yummy, I’m drooling just thinking about it.
North
The most beautiful part of the island, but I’m not going to tell you about because of its illegal status.
Centre
You thought for such a small island, there can’t be that much more to say, but there is. Central Cyprus is where you’ll find the Troodos mountains (meaning you can ski and sunbathe on the same day) and the country’s capital, Nicosia.
Nicosia is where my family are from, so I have lots of nostalgia attached to it. I urge anyone who’s visiting to walk around the Faneromeni district of the city. Its atmospheric Venetian architecture has always resonated with me. Punctuated by it being the last divided capital in the world, a lot of buildings along the Green Line are abandoned leaving behind beautiful derelict relics. Stay on the main roads around Lidra Street and Faneromeni Square for an incredible choice of fantastic restaurants, buzzing with animated Greek conversation and live music.
The pine-smelling mountains don’t offer much other than incredible views, lots of nature watching and a monastery. Oh and the villages of Kakopetria and Kato Panayioti are a taster of traditional living in a modern world. It’s so fresh and unique up there, it’s worth spending a few days to get the full Cypriot experience.
Cyprus is the perfect hybrid between classical Europe, vibrant Middle East and forward-thinking modernity, with plenty of Mediterranean sparkle. The melting pot of cultures where three continents meet is everything you could ever want from a holiday; bags of history, sacks of locality and suitcases of paradise.
