It's such a cliche to go travelling to find yourself. And the whole concept is baffling, as how can you lose yourself. But getting away from social expections does have a positive effect on mental wellbeing.
As a woman, I'm constantly under society's microscope. It's incessant questioning about my childlessness, my singledom, my body clock and my astheatic is exhausting. This is now, in my ripe of old age of ahem.
When I was younger, before I knew who I was and what I wanted, I buckled under the pressure of social paradigms. I strived to get that "good Greek husband" and have lots of "Greek babies" and be a "good housewife".
The more I grew, the more I realised none of this was me. I didn't want the mundane, humdrum of a suberban wife. I want adventure, excitement and enlightenment.
This doesn't mean I'm a raging lesbian, a feminazi or a slut. This doesn't mean I'm a selfish, hard-nosed career woman who is married to the boardroom. And it doesn't mean I own a clouder of cats... although, I am a bit crazy.
I have the same frailties, fears and anxieties as everyone else. Okay, I don't want to be Mrs Average, but I don't want to be alone. And I want to be independent and successful, but I value my non-work life more.
I would never have come to these conclusions nor had the courage of my convictions had I not unplugged from the matrix and went travelling. Alone.
The mere act of booking solo flights to Beijing filled me with a mixture of excitement and dread. Getting on the plane was hard enough, but I wasn't prepared for what happened on my arrival. I had a mini breakdown. I thought about all the things I'd given up; a job I enjoyed and the love of my life.
It was his advice that dragged me out of my pit of despair; "just getting on the plane was impressive enough, but if you don't see this through, you'll regret it. You'll have the time of your life, trust me." I did and I learnt so much about myself.
I never considered myself a princess, but when I embarked on journeys through non-English speaking countries (not even signage or speakers), I learnt I was more squemish than I thought. Sleeping in rat infested hostels that resembled a mortuary and damp-riddled guesthouses with spiders the size of my head and sanitation that invited cholera, I just got on with it. All of sudden, it wasn't so bad.
Having to constantly consider my safety made me wiser. I'd always been streetwise or, as a teacher put it, "had an attitude problem", but going away was a new level, as the culture and society was new. And I would happily walk out of a rave in Elephant & Castle without giving it a second thought, but walking out of a Cambodian folk night made me feel a sense of loss.
For me, travelling solidified who I was and made me brave enough to be just that.
Some people are completely listless before they go travelling. The thought of partying on a tropical beach, surrounded by beautiful people seems like the perfect alternative to working in a deadend data entry job in Doncaster.
What travel does for them is they meet new people and get fresh ideas/inspiration. They might even discover a talent they never knew they had. Without being shackled to expectation and the ability to reinvent yourself from town to town opens your mind up to new opportunities.
The other factor is when you see Halong Bay, Angkor Wat, Petra or Chichen Itza, it reminds you how insignificant you are and that the world is much bigger place that you. Once you see people putting in 24/7 of hard labour in the fields for pennies, you feel fortunate for what little you thought you had. Putting it all in perspective makes you happier.
And there are untold benefits to having the headspace the think about it all. I spent a lot of time cringing about past indescretions that I hadn't thought about since they happened, but now I was forced to face them and deal with it.
Basically, travel is the best way to get over yourself, your heartbreaks and disenfranchisement as it forces you face your demons and hold a mirror up to yourself. It forces you out of your comfort zone. And it teaches you about other people's lives.
It's terrifying and enriching, but it's an experience that will leave its mark on your forever.
